Holiday Wishes

Given the traditions of this season, and all the memories of childhood, it seems only natural to dream a little -- even if only for a moment. I dream of Christmas past, the people who've meant so much to me, the times in my life so sweet that I'd like to relive them. And I sometimes I dream about a better world.

This time I'm not complaining about Diabetes. My diagnosis could have been a lot worse. When I first experienced dramatic weight loss and weakness, I feared it might be cancer. I thought my life was over and there was nothing I could do about it.

Even though it's a common condition, at least I didn't "catch it" from someone else. It's been with me all my life -- the possibility, at least -- tucked away inside my genetic code. If I had known my mother was afflicted, I might have been better prepared for the eventuality.

This season is all about others. About the way things used to be, the way they should be still, and what we can do to make life better for someone else.

At least we try. When gifts are given -- not simply out of obligation to conform but with sincere well-wishing -- we're doing the right thing. It's not the gift, but the thought behind it. A way to show how much we care.

I don't pay much attention to the news. But I know the world can be an awful place. I see people suffering around me every day. And I see plenty of folks driven by all the wrong desires, taking advantage, dealing in falsehoods and doing harm, when all of that would be completely unnecessary -- if only their heart was in the right place.

We had an appointment with an attorney in downtown Youngstown. I'd never met the man. We'd only spoken once before this meeting by phone. He seemed to want our business (or maybe it was just our money). When he gave us a time to come in, it sounded like an invitation. I explained our situation, and he said that he could help.

But he was not very friendly. Reluctant to shake my hand, never smiling, staring at his notepad most of the time. He seemed annoyed. As if we were wasting his time.

And even though he was rude, talking down to us, insulting our intelligence, acting as if we had no right to ask his opinion, I pretended not to notice. I thanked him for being so kind. Because even though he treated us like deadbeats, in his rantings, we found out what we needed to know.

He insulted us once more as we parted, implying that he probably would not get paid. But we knew otherwise. (Though he refused to accept payment by debit card, or give us a walk out statement, we mailed him a check the following day.)

My wife was very upset. It took us hours to calm down afterward. And I thought, He could have accomplished just as much -- or more -- by being nice. Why was that so hard for him? All I could think was that he must have a miserable life. Over 60 years of age, working on the sixth floor of a revamped department store, labeled an associate. He must be unhappy.

Personal unhappiness does not give you the right to mistreat others. I wish more people could understand that.

And I wish for much more, of course. My wife and I so often talk about the way things should be. The way we remember them. Life less complicated. People less driven by greed, more devoted to helping one another.

Each year at Christmas, it seems like a few of us, at least, slow down just enough to size up the world around us. To consider what we can do to help. Personally, our finances have not been so good lately. I'm in between jobs. But we always give to Salvation Army.

My uncle, in his late seventies, just got out of the hospital, after breaking his hip. He still has a long way to go. We're planning to visit. After losing Mom a year ago, I feel the need to visit people more. Time runs out so quickly.

Best wishes...to you and yours.