Living Well

We've all seen the phrase from promotional materials put out by pharmacies and drug companies. And it usually describes a regimen of proper diet and exercise -- along with your daily medication, of course. It's the kind of advice that most people generally ignore. Until they get sick.

And I see it all around me every day. Caregivers rushing into work carrying mega cups of coffee or Coke. Young doctors commuting from one city to another, keeping themselves alert with Red Bull and Five Hour Energy. One recently had an episode that put him in the hospital for observation for two days with stress testing. So, when he came out, I thought he might have a different outlook. But instead, he told "funny stories" about wearing his hospital gown backwards.

Is it simply human nature to live this way or are there other factors a work?

Some things have never made sense to me. Caregivers who smoke, for one thing. And my mother was a nurse who smoked her entire adult life. Even when diagnosed with lung cancer, she continued to smoke for two more years -- until she died. I was angry about it. And I often think that she might still be alive, if she had stopped.

Of course, we live in America. And I try to remind myself that certain aspects of my perspective may be the results of social conditioning. It differs, no doubt, depending on where you live. (From what I understand, awareness of Healthy Lifestyles is often worse elsewhere.)

I have no desire to control what other people do. Every person has his or her own set of priorities. For some, long life is simply not at the top of their list. They're more concerned about how they live rather than how long.

But it should be easier to distinguish good foods from bad. And sometimes we're so bombarded with popular products that it seems almost pointless to ask that question. With everyone drinking the same beverage or popping the same snack, few stop to consider what it's doing to our bodies.

I have always tried not to be fanatical (about anything). Most people, even when they know something's bad for them, will tend to try it anyway. The ill effects are delayed. A saw this in high school, when seemingly "sensible" people all around me suddenly went for alcohol and tobacco. Why? Simply because they were "old enough".

That's another thing I never understood. If it's bad for you at 17, then it's bad for you at 27, and 37, etc.

What bothers me are the dangers we don't know about. Alcohol and tobacco are well known. People who take the risk must accept the consequences.

But what about sugar?

I never really thought about it as being bad. It always made me happy. And it was in all my favorite foods. My parents gave us sugar all the time. I loved cereal as a kid: Sugar Pops, Cap'n Crunch, Frosted Flakes. You name it. Every soft drink was laced with sugar. (Even popular juice drinks.) As long as we brushed our teeth, no problem.

I never asked, "Gee, I wonder if this is too much." They wouldn't do that. How could anyone question the veracity of kid-friendly cartoons like Toucan Sam or Twix the cwazy rabbit, or Count Chocula?

Today we know better. General Mills makes all of their products from whole grains. And if you check the labels, there really are good choices on the shelf. (Whether parents read them or not is another matter.)

But how much is too much? I know the answer for me. Anything over 4 grams of sugar per serving. (It's my own personal guideline, selected to match that found in "healthy snacks" made specifically for Diabetics.)

So where do most people go wrong? Where does one cross the line?

Since my diagnosis with Type 2, my awareness has increased. And I keep telling myself, maybe it's a good thing. Maybe better eating and exercise now will improve my chances of living longer.

And yes ... even Living Well.

How Do You Feel

In the original Star Wars trilogy, Obiwan told Luke, "Trust your feelings" over everything else. Now, I've always been a little reluctant to do that. As a teenager, it seemed like feelings could get you in trouble mighty quick. I remember pop 40 music making me "feel" one way or another so often that I had to get away from it altogether. I didn't like the loss of control over my emotions.

I used to think that Spock had it made on Star Trek. If only there was a clear mental discipline that would enable each of us to know the right choice in every situation.

In my line of work, I deal with people every day. So many bring a mixture of emotion to their appointment, distressed over the problem they are having. A few accept responsibility for their condition (usually the result of poor choices or lack of self care) but most do not. They find reasons to blame someone else. Their parents never taught them healthy habits, or never took them to the doctor enough. Their job or their kids keep them running ragged, so they just don't have time to do what is right.

As a caregiver, I used to try to distance myself from all this emotional turmoil. No sense in getting myself involved (or so I thought). Partly, it was because I did not want them to transfer any blame to me. I did not want to get caught up in the whole process, carrying all that distress home with me every night. It was my goal to remain objective, focus on the problem at hand, try to offer solutions. Try to help them if I could.

But in the process of distancing myself, something was lost. I had trouble remembering people's names. And it took me a long time to recognize the importance of that. My wife knew, of course. She worked with me every day, and she knew every name. She remembered every detail of people's lives as well. I relied on her too much.

I've now been working in my field for over twenty years. But just recently, the whole concept of feelings came back into play. We were introduced to this concept by a speaker who encouraged us to ask people how they feel. Why? Because it seems to be at the heart of the decision-making process. If you can tap into a person's emotional state, it can help you discover what matters to them most and also help you to offer a better-fitting solution.

Fine, I said. And for the most part, it turns out to be true.

And I have tried to be more open to the feelings of others. Especially in the workplace. First, because it enables me to interact with them on a more personal level. Second, because it opens the door to better cooperation. Together, we achieve more.

But I still try not to think too much about my own feelings. I often dread the prospect of facing another workday. And I don't want them to "get in the way" of what I'm supposed to do.

So this brings me to how I feel about my type 2 Diabetes. I'm not angry. I don't resent it as some terrible thing that has happened or something I must try to get rid of. Because, of course, I can't. Experts say that, while it may be possible to prevent with healthy diet and exercise, it cannot be cured (although I'd like to prove them wrong).

I will not deny that this whole daily reading thing is a pain. And while I seem to feel better each time I get a good reading (yesterday was 117!) I still feel distressed when the number jumps for no apparent reason. And I cannot really distinguish one day from the other. Prior to that moment when blood is drawn, I feel about the same.

So now I'm wondering. Dealing with Diabetes must surely evoke a range of emotions in others. Maybe you try not to think about it. Or maybe it plays on your mind more than you'd like to admit.

How do you feel?

　

In Moderation

Since this whole thing began (still a newbie at less than two months), my wife has been worried about the foods I should "never" eat. But I keep thinking Diabetes does not mean that. It only means that I need to watch my sugar intake to keep it low.

And we do. 99.9% of the time, I'm drinking water. Propel is flavored, but contains no sugar. So, I can still have a glass of wine with dinner. Or sip a small Diet Coke once in a while, with no problems. We even made our own milk shakes one night with 2% milk and low sugar ice cream (3 grams per serving).

At first she thought we couldn't eat out (especially fast food) but I've just been trying to make better choices. True, I eat more grilled chicken than ever before (the cholesterol thing) but it doesn't bother me. At home we eat baked sweet potatoes and rice, so I figure a small order of fries once a week won't kill me.

I still check my blood every day and it's been pretty consistent (between 142 and 180) which I know still isn't perfect, but I'm working on it.

We're no longer in panic mode. At first the fear came because we didn't know what was wrong. But now my symptoms are pretty minimal or nonexistant. I don't know how this compares to most people with Type 2, but I"m hoping it's pretty much the norm. I don't really think of myself as being "sick" so much as someone who's lifestyle has slightly changed.

It's always been a habit of mine to minimize. Every problem, every obstacle, to try to describe it in terms of being small in my own mind, so as not to make it so frightening. (Not to say that I don't "lose it" once in a while and feel like the world is crashing down. I've gotten that way before, especially when it comes to money. Financial security is big on my list of priorities. That's why we're so careful how we spend. We try to use what we have most of the time. We don't travel much. We're happy at home.)

Some younger people might think that makes us boring, or that it's all a product of age. But I've always been that way. And for the most part, it keeps us out of trouble. Safety is also high on the list.

A few items so far from the grocery store have been a bust. The low sugar multigrain no-name pizza from the Special Foods case was edible but got a thumbs down. The lowfat potpies with mashed potato topping were much worse. Filled with ingrediants and organic spices that our tongues could not identfiy, we couldn't get past a few bites. But we did find some amazing plain cake doughnuts with only 8 grams of sugar (which is pretty awesome for a doughnut).

I'm loving the Kix cereal. And hearty oatmeal bread is one of our favorites. The best foods taste so much like the real thing, you can't even tell the difference. Try TastyKake sugar-free orange finger cakes -- like a twinkie with an orange twist!

So far my dad knows, and of course, my sister the nurse. But I haven't bothered to tell my two brothers yet. No sense in inviting too many questions (or so I tell myself) or giving them an excuse to stare at me. Maybe it wouldn't happen. One's a diabetic already and doing fine. But the other? I can just imagine him trying to be smart at family get togethers, gazing at my plate (while his is heaped three times as high) and telling me what not to eat.

But I know enough to steer clear of all the sweets people inevitably bring to work. Frosted cupcakes and cookies are just not worth it. Never do I want my blood sugar spiking over 300 again.

What we're talking about is not an obsession with food -- more like awareness (which I never had before). We all have to eat every day. I think about it more, since I've learned to identify the difference between high and low sugar foods. I want my wife to be happy with my daily reading. And I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel like I'm doing the right thing. We're hoping for another twenty years together and plan to stay healthy.

So for me, it's all about moderation. Not really depriving myself, but making better choices. I think about what's good for me instead of foods I cannot eat. Maybe that sounds unreal. But it works.

Meant To Be?

Sometimes I wonder how this happened to me. Of course, there is family history. My grandmother, my mother, my brother. But still, how did it happen to them? If we had all made better choices, would we still have Diabetes?

Growing up, sugar was not a concern. Oh, of course we must have been told at one point or another, "Don't eat too much candy!" But who listens to that? Every major holiday was all about sweets. Easter, Halloween, Christmas. Chocolates galore. Every birthday, cake and ice cream.

We brushed our teeth every day, went for regular dental visits, and never had many cavities. So, we figured everything was okay.

I don't recall my mother reading labels in the grocery store, or choosing one product over another due to its sugar content. Now I know foods were labeled differently back then. It wasn't so easy to compare. But still, somehow I don't think the awareness was really there. Even with family history, we never thought it could happen to us later in life.

We ate any kind of cereal, pastry or snack without thought. My mom packed Twinkies, Ho-ho's and Ding Dongs in our lunches every day. Partly this was because she had a sweet tooth herself. But mostly, these snacks made us happy.

The sugar content in some of these foods is out of this world! And I realize today we have many more choices in the grocery store. Sugar-free alternatives were probably rare. I remember my grandmother always eating Special K cereal, and at that time I thought to myself that it must be the only one safe for her to eat. But that's probably not true.

Before my diagnosis, I found it difficult to understand all the constant talk on television, all the advertising from pharmacies and drug supply companies trying to get people to sign up for Diabetic supplies. I kept asking myself, "Are so many people suddenly becoming Diabetics or does it only seem that way because of this increased awareness?"

It seems possible now to live with a lot less sugar. Was it always possible? Sometimes I wonder if so many foods have so much sugar simply because it sells more. If people buy it and consume it for the taste, then might it encourage creation of even more sugar-laced foods, to create higher profits?

Aside from the whole genetic thing, I keep wondering if all this sugar overload might be turning people into Diabetics who might never have been otherwise. I know it's hard as a parent, to steer kids away from stuff that's bad for them, especially when it's advertised all the time, and their friends are eating the same thing.

An adult might be difficult to convince, even with family history. I used to think of Diabetes as something you either had or you did not. I never had it as a kid, nor in highschool, nor for thirty years after that. Maybe my mother should have told me when she developed Type 2. Maybe I would have considered it a warning sign of something that could happen to me when I reached a certain age. Maybe not.

Knowing what I know now, as a parent, I would at least let my child know it's a possibility, something one should consider in all the daily choices they make. But I don't know if it would make any difference. In my family we had four kids. My mom turned out to have Type 2, my dad did not. So far, two out of four kids are Diabetic. (Of course, the other two are younger, neither having reached the age of 50 yet. Is it inevitable? Only time will tell.)

For me, of course, the point is mute. For whatever reason, because of my genes or my eating habits over so many years, my body now has this condition. I'm still diligently working to regulate my blood sugar. And even though I don't really know if it is possible, I'd like to eventually get off medication. (Turns out I was mistaken. My brother still takes oral med every day.)

When they're young, most people don't worry about such things. Maybe they should. Today we have more choices than ever. Maybe they can avoid this fate while still living a pretty normal life.

Maybe they can avoid one day asking the question: "Was it meant to be?"

　

Step By Step

My blood sugar continues to drop. From diagnosis at 360, to the 200 range, my latest readings have held steady around 150 to 160 (with 142 my best one yet). According to one scale I found, a fasting norm should be around 80 to 100.

Good news! I went for a Diabetic eye exam with an opthalmologist. It was not scary at all. Of course, my vision had changed quite a bit since my last eyeglass prescription about 5 years ago (I told them everything was still slightly blurred). The doctor said I may have had Diabetes longer than I thought. At least he found no signs of permanent damage: No signs of retinopathy, no macular degeneration, no glaucoma. He said I could wait about two months, then get a new pair of glasses. He even said the 3.25 mag reading glasses I picked up at Rite Aid was a good game plan for now!

I understand that my brother got to the point where he was so well controlled, he could stop taking medication. I don't know how often this happens with Type 2, but I'd like to see it happen for me too.

No daily walks so far, but I managed to repaint a portion of our basement this week (after regular work hours). Even repainted a small bathroom and mowed the lawn in one day. My energy level has been good. And I'm sure that explains my improving numbers.

Picked up a box of Kix cereal the other day, but haven't tried them yet. As a kid, I remember dumping sugar on anything that wasn't pre-sweetened. But now I'm eating Wheaties and Rice Chex with only 2% milk. Years ago, I read somewhere that the same thing happens with taste buds and salt. When people stop adding salt to their food, they begin to experience more natural flavors. It seems to be true with sugar.

We even had root beer floats one night. (Diet A&W with Edy's Slow-churned vanilla -- no sugar added). Fantastic!

I'm feeling more like a regular person. Except for the few minutes it takes to read my blood sugar each morning, I try not to think about my condition. We're getting past the shock of my diagnosis. Though I was definitely feeling sick for a while (at least a month) while trying to figure out what was wrong, most of the symptoms have now disappeared.

Even my eyesight continues to improve. Before all this happened, I wore bifocals. Far vision was basically pretty good. Lately, I've noticed it getting a little better each day. I can watch TV without glasses.

The bruises on my arms have completely healed. By the way, has anyone tried more than one meter? I began with FreeStyle Lite, which has worked completely fine. But then, my Dad found two unopened containers of test strips for the Bayer Contour meter (Mom passed away a year ago. Somehow, I didn't know she was Diabetic. She never talked about it.) The expiration date was still a year away. So I picked up a Bayer meter for twenty bucks. At the cost of strips, he saved me over $100!

I'd like to hear more about your journey. What do you like to eat most? Any favorite recipes? How about fast food? (We haven't found many obstacles, but then, we don't eat out much, either.)

How often do you test? What time of day? How do feel about your daily number? Does it affect your outlook on life?

My grandmother took daily insulin (this was in the 1970's) and my grandfather used to take care of her. For the longest time, I thought it would never affect me. But then, I didn't realize you could go through half of your life with no problems, then develop a condition like Diabetes.

Now it's a part of my daily routine. I have to at least think about it every time I eat or drink. But at least I don't feel sick anymore. Maybe I'm lucky. I'm sure everyone's journey along this path is different. And I still have a long way to go.

I'm taking it step by step.

　

Starting Off Right

They say breakfast is the "most important meal of the day". I've always been one to rise and shine. A cereal lover since I was a kid, lately as an adult I've gotten away from this staple to things like scrambled eggs, frozen waffles, (and sausage whenever I can get it). And orange juice almost always.

Well, Diabetes had us reading labels. We went from whole milk to 2% (my cholesterol was also up in my original blood work), and a few of my favorite cereals were a bit high in sugar. I never really expected otherwise from Cap'n Crunch, but couldn't resist reading it anyway. Fortunately, Spoon Size Shredded Wheat and Wheaties passed the 4-grams-of-sugar-or-less test.

But my wife is into a few other foods. So we found Aunt Jemima whole grain pancakes, Hungry Jack sugar-free syrup and oatmeal bread (so light in color it even almost looks like ordinary bread).

One of the things we quickly discovered: when you substitute whole-grain, multi-grain, wheat for white, suddenly almost everything you eat seems to turn brown. Don't get me wrong. We enjoy whole-wheat English muffins, multi-grain bagels, crackers and such, but once in a while, you just have to go back and read the label again to make sure you're not missing out for no reason. (It turned out that one of our favorite cracker's original brand had less sugar than the whole-grain version!)

What about juice? It helps to look for Diet instead of Light. Most Light-versions seem to read like the original cut in half with water. That's okay if you're just counting calories. But sugar's another thing altogether. Diet versions can reduce the sugar to one third or even less -- and they still taste great. Try diet Cran-Grape. You'll love it!

As time goes by, I'm branching out, reading labels on cereal I never used to eat much, but now willing to try again (for the sake of variety). This week, we bought a box of Rice Chex. Next time, I'm looking to try a box of Kix.

I've been eating hard-boiled eggs (yolk removed -- that cholesterol thing, again). We bought some Egg-Beaters for baking, though we haven't tried it. And we figure one whole egg isn't so bad once in a while for certain recipes, like tuna fish. We got whole wheat flour too. One of the things we really love once in a blue moon is home-made pancakes, from scratch. I'm still waiting to try that with all new ingrediants.

We drink drink coffee black, so that's no problem. We found low-sugar Swiss Miss hot cocoa, but that's more of a winter beverage in our house. Hot tea with a little Splenda tastes the same as always.

By the way, we found some great cream cheese from Weight Watcher's. Even comes in nice little individual serving size, eight to a box. Makes you feel like you're eating continental breakfast somewhere.

So, what are we NOT eating? No more toaster pastry, no honey. But we can still spread low-sugar jam on our toast. And sausage? We found a veggie version at Sam's Club that tastes just fine, thank you. (Next time we'll try some veggie meatballs.)

We keep an eye out for Weight Watchers and other low-sugar, low-cal versions of almost everything (my wife is trying to lower her caloric intake). This week we made another fantastic discovery. Frozen potpies have always been a favorite, but most run around 500 calories. In the "special foods" section of our neighborhood Giant Eagle, we found some topped with mashed potatoes instead of crust -- at only 140! (Pizza too with only 3 grams of sugar per serving. I can't wait.)

Not that we're obsessed with food or anything. But we've learned from experience. If it doesn't taste right, don't waste your time, because you won't eat it and it won't do you any good. And you can't live without snacks. We're not playing that game with carrots and celery sticks -- although fresh celery with peanut butter is still pretty darn good once in a while.

I keep getting away from breakfast, but it's still one of my favorite meals. All this talk about food is making me hungry. It's 5 am and I haven't had anything to eat (still waiting to do my daily blood test).

So, what are you having?

Testing

Once on daily medication, it became imperative to test my blood. I'm sure people do this a variety of ways. But I wanted a way to compare every reading to the first one, when I fasted overnight before having blood drawn at the doctor's office. So now I've made a habit of fasting each night between bedtime and my meter test each morning.

The readings varied more at first, dropping between 245 and 210 (an improvement from 360). My sister (the nurse) later told my wife that she didn't want to say anything the night I called her on the phone with a reading of 380, but she had heard of people going into a coma at 400. Still, I had a ways to go.

As strength returned, I ventured once more out into the yard. It had been at least a month since I'd even attempted work on a particular project, and Summer was passing us by. Then I discovered a wonderful thing. After sweating it out a few hours, the next morning my reading had dropped to 161! Exercise had turned it around.

Of course, it didn't stay that low. For another week, my readings fluctuated right around 200. Still, progress.

Now before my diagnosis, I never really understood those TV ads about "alternative sites". But I've come to realize they mean "anyplace but your fingertips". My brother (a year younger) had done this for a while, choosing a different finger every day. Once he showed me all the little scars.

From the start, I decided against it. I work with my hands every day. "No fingers," I said. And my FreeStyle kit had two different settings for the lancet, including one for "other". Now, it's been a learning process. I admit I haven't researched this a whole lot. (Partly because I'm still trying not to think about it too much, or broadcast it to everyone I know.)

Which brings me to the title of this blog. I purposely decided on Journeys to make it about everyone who reads and contributes their thoughts. Every person's journey down this road is no doubt unique. I'm bound to stumble. So, I'd like to hear from YOU. Anything you have learned can help others. Please offer your comments. Encouragement and advice are welcome!

So I began testing with my forearms, which seemed to work well at first. Whether I became impatient or the springloaded lancet device lost some of its punch, somehow I began to have trouble drawing enough blood. (Apparently the drop must be a certain size, or the meter can't read it.)

And there was bruising. I wear short sleeves all day, and at least one person asked, "What happened to your arm?" That was it. No more, I thought to myself. I was starting to feel like a drug addict.

So now it's my upper thighs. Sometimes it still takes more than one try to draw blood, but at least the marks won't show -- even when I have shorts on.

I've been trying to take my pill a few hours prior to each reading, hoping somehow that it will encourage my body to pull sugar out of my blood and create a better result. Right now for me, a good day begins with any reading below 200.

If I could exercise each day, it would probably make my readings more consistent. Even walking would probably help. It's been a goal of ours. We're still working on it.

My wife says I should test twice a day. But like always, my response was, "I'm not ready." (It took me over two years to give up my flip-style cell for an I-phone.) How important is this, I wonder? I keep thinking it'll only use up my strips faster, and force another trip to the drugstore.

So, that's where it stands. It's nearly 6 am. I'll have to wrap things up.

Time for another test.

First Things First

"What you have is a wasting condition," my doctor said. The insulin in my body did not recognize the sugar in my blood. So, my body was breaking down fat and muscle to get what my cells needed. That explained the weight loss.

The first thing we had to do was get my sugar down. From 360 to what I still did not know at this point, but I was willing to try. Fortunately, we had already done some research, making lists of food that were considered good and bad. "Can I try this with changing my diet?" I said, hoping to avoid medication. He agreed to give me three months.

It was time to go shopping. My wife was totally supportive. Ours would not be a household with two sets of food. We agreed from the start to do this together. She had struggled for years with being overweight, and figured the reduction in sugar could only help her as well.

But first we had to clean out our fridge. And our freezer. And our pantry. Anyplace we kept food. No more white bread. No more Gatorade. No more sugar-filled candy or snacks or cereal or pancake syrup. Most of it was still in unopened containers. No problem. Our twenty-four year old son lived 5 minutes away in his own apartment. We packed up two large boxes.

It's amazing what you can learn by reading labels. We had no idea there was so much sugar in foods we ate every day. We needed a ballpark figure. So we looked at products in the pharmacy. Shakes and snack bars made for diabetics. We came up with 4 grams of sugar or less as our starting point.

We read the nutrition label on every single item. More than 4 grams? Put it back. Substitution in some cases was easy. Splenda instead of sugar. Propel instead of G2. Whole grain or multigrain for bread, bagels, english muffins, crackers, cereal and just about anything else.

We searched for everything and anything labeled "Sugar free". We found chocolate candy and cookies and snack cakes (thank you, god!).

Most items we found were either Diet or Lite or No Sugar Added. We found fruit pies. Even ice cream with only 3 grams of sugar. And this was only our first trip! We vowed each week to scan the shelves for new items we might have missed.

Returning home, we breathed a sigh of relief. Our fridge and freezer and pantry were filled once again. We could live like normal people. Everything was going to be okay. No real suffering. No sacrifice. Or at least, nothing major.

Oh, something I forgot to mention. My doctor had also suggested that "I might want to get a glucose meter". I walked out of there telling my wife, "No way! I'm not gonna start that. No meter. No checking my blood every day. Absolutely not. My condition isn't that serious. We'll fix it and I'll be fine!"

And she said, "How will you know?"

Of course, she was right. So, after nearly a week, I gave in. Walking into Rite Aid, we decided to be inconspicuous. To wander casually by the glucose meters. Just to see what they had. But how to choose? We had no idea. Reading the boxes, some appeared to have all kinds of programmable features. "Nothing too fancy," I said.

I decided on FreeStyle Lite. Tiny Sample Size. Small and Discreet. No Coding Required. A Better Testing Experience. This sounded great. But that was not all. Something about the butterfly on the box made me feel good.

Wait a minute. What about the strips? None of the boxes seemed to have any. And so we learned how it works. We decided not to use our insurance this time around. Even got a discount with our Wellness card.

I've never really been too queasy about blood. I skipped all the programming. "This thing's not gonna control my life," I said. Besides, I was really only doing this to put her fears to rest. I'd been living nearly sugar-free for a week now. My reading was bound to be good.

I probably shouldn't have been doing this after 8pm for the first time. The meter read 380. Even higher than before! We did a quick search on line. A random Q&A came up on some website. Question: "What would happen if my father's glucose reading was 380?" Answer: "He would be dead."

Suddenly, I was rattled. What to do? What to do? Call my sister, the nurse. It meant letting out my secret. (I didn't like to do this sort of thing with family.) She told me to call my doctor.

I felt like a fool, but it had to be done. (Another thing: my eyesight was starting to blur. I couldn't read anything with my regular glasses. We had picked up some magnifier lenses earlier in the week.) My doctor prescribed Metformin tablets, twice a day.

Here we go. Another thing I said I'd never do.

A New Journey Begins!

Up until the age of 50, I never gave it much thought. Told myself I was "eating healthy" for the most part. My grandmother took insulin, but it had nothing to do with me. No health problems whatsoever. Maybe got sick once a year, at most. No doctor visits, no prescriptions, no trips to the hospital. "I'll never go," I said, "Until I have a problem."

Then it happened. But not all at once. Somehow, I found myself drinking more water, more Gatorade (G2), more bottled ice tea, more juice, than ever before. My mouth would go dry again within minutes. So dry that I could barely moisten my lips. Barely speak. I would have to stop and sip from a cup repeatedly throughout the day.

This routine put me in the bathroom every thirty minutes. Up at least three or four times every night. I kept telling myself, "It's not my imagination. Not some kind of prostate thing. This is for real. Every time, I really have to go. It must be normal."

But of course it was not. Nor was it normal to fill our grocery cart every week with so many beverages that it barely left room for any food. I would joke with my wife that I was on a liquid diet. At first I thought maybe my body was just making up for all those years when I didn't drink much water. Eight glasses a day? Please! Suddenly it seemed to take no effort at all.

And there were bouts of fatigue. I'd come home from work, sit on the porch and sleep for two hours. I attributed this all to summer. Day after day over 90. Barely any below 80 degrees. It was our first one in the home we had purchased about eight months before. I had tackled some ambitious outdoor projects. July turned out to be the hottest on record.

And it was dry. So little rain that I barely mowed the lawn for months. Once a week or even two weeks, trimming a small patch here or there. We had planned to walk every day, but the heat made it unbearable. So, the exercise did not happen. Less time in the sun meant no tan. No big deal.

But then, the concerned comments began. People at work that I barely knew but had not seen for several months all started to say the same thing. "You look different. Have you lost weight?" Some tried to make it sound like a compliment. But most of them said I looked pale. I thought, what are they talking about? Even my wife said the same.

Finally, I stepped on the scale. My weight had dropped dramatically. Not five or ten or even fifteen pounds. More like twenty. I couldn't believe it. Like most people, I had always considered myself just a tad overweight (real or imagined). But to drop from nearly 190 to 168 without trying seemed a bit out of the ordinary.

My arms and legs had dwindled. I could not bear to see myself in the mirror. At night I'd lay in bed feeling small and weak. I was starting to get scared.

So, as an absolute last resort, we scheduled a doctor's appointment. Not an easy thing to do, especially since we didn't have one. My wife kept saying, "We have to get established. What if something happens? They won't take us in the hospital." We got a referral from a family member.

I had a full week to fabricate my own miraculous recovery. All I had to do was gain weight. My god! Most people did that without effort. How hard could it be? I'd just eat everything in sight. Mashed potatoes, oatmeal, cookies, bread and ice cream. And soft drinks. I'd drink lots of Coke and Pepsi. Sip it all day. All that sugar. It had to work.

And it seemed to, at first. One pound here, two pounds there. But then, after a few days, I dropped right back. I redoubled my efforts. Breakfast sandwiches from the drive-through. Peanut butter, fruit, more oatmeal, more bread. Hard-boiled eggs. Eating in the middle of the night. Every night. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom. I was bound and determined to fix this problem by the day of my appointment.

After a full week of eating like there was no tomorrow, I stepped on the scale. No change. Still 168. I knew I was in trouble.

So, I went. A brief and simple exam. Nothing obviously wrong to look at me. BP almost ideal. Normal breathing. No aches and pains. He said I seemed pretty healthy. They drew some blood. It was all pretty routine. Maybe I was over reacting. But I needed to know about the weight loss. Hopefully nothing too bad. Maybe I just needed vitamins.

We got results the next day. The nurse asked my wife over the phone. "We told him to fast. Did he fast?" Of course, I had. Nothing but water after midnight. She could not understand it. My blood sugar was 360. I didn't really know what that meant. Turns out, it wasn't good at all. She said it should never be that high. I had to make another appointment.

A week later, my doctor dropped the big "D". "By definition, you have type 2 Diabetes," he said. From that moment on, though I wanted to believe otherwise, I knew my life would not be the same.