In Moderation

Since this whole thing began (still a newbie at less than two months), my wife has been worried about the foods I should "never" eat. But I keep thinking Diabetes does not mean that. It only means that I need to watch my sugar intake to keep it low.

And we do. 99.9% of the time, I'm drinking water. Propel is flavored, but contains no sugar. So, I can still have a glass of wine with dinner. Or sip a small Diet Coke once in a while, with no problems. We even made our own milk shakes one night with 2% milk and low sugar ice cream (3 grams per serving).

At first she thought we couldn't eat out (especially fast food) but I've just been trying to make better choices. True, I eat more grilled chicken than ever before (the cholesterol thing) but it doesn't bother me. At home we eat baked sweet potatoes and rice, so I figure a small order of fries once a week won't kill me.

I still check my blood every day and it's been pretty consistent (between 142 and 180) which I know still isn't perfect, but I'm working on it.

We're no longer in panic mode. At first the fear came because we didn't know what was wrong. But now my symptoms are pretty minimal or nonexistant. I don't know how this compares to most people with Type 2, but I"m hoping it's pretty much the norm. I don't really think of myself as being "sick" so much as someone who's lifestyle has slightly changed.

It's always been a habit of mine to minimize. Every problem, every obstacle, to try to describe it in terms of being small in my own mind, so as not to make it so frightening. (Not to say that I don't "lose it" once in a while and feel like the world is crashing down. I've gotten that way before, especially when it comes to money. Financial security is big on my list of priorities. That's why we're so careful how we spend. We try to use what we have most of the time. We don't travel much. We're happy at home.)

Some younger people might think that makes us boring, or that it's all a product of age. But I've always been that way. And for the most part, it keeps us out of trouble. Safety is also high on the list.

A few items so far from the grocery store have been a bust. The low sugar multigrain no-name pizza from the Special Foods case was edible but got a thumbs down. The lowfat potpies with mashed potato topping were much worse. Filled with ingrediants and organic spices that our tongues could not identfiy, we couldn't get past a few bites. But we did find some amazing plain cake doughnuts with only 8 grams of sugar (which is pretty awesome for a doughnut).

I'm loving the Kix cereal. And hearty oatmeal bread is one of our favorites. The best foods taste so much like the real thing, you can't even tell the difference. Try TastyKake sugar-free orange finger cakes -- like a twinkie with an orange twist!

So far my dad knows, and of course, my sister the nurse. But I haven't bothered to tell my two brothers yet. No sense in inviting too many questions (or so I tell myself) or giving them an excuse to stare at me. Maybe it wouldn't happen. One's a diabetic already and doing fine. But the other? I can just imagine him trying to be smart at family get togethers, gazing at my plate (while his is heaped three times as high) and telling me what not to eat.

But I know enough to steer clear of all the sweets people inevitably bring to work. Frosted cupcakes and cookies are just not worth it. Never do I want my blood sugar spiking over 300 again.

What we're talking about is not an obsession with food -- more like awareness (which I never had before). We all have to eat every day. I think about it more, since I've learned to identify the difference between high and low sugar foods. I want my wife to be happy with my daily reading. And I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel like I'm doing the right thing. We're hoping for another twenty years together and plan to stay healthy.

So for me, it's all about moderation. Not really depriving myself, but making better choices. I think about what's good for me instead of foods I cannot eat. Maybe that sounds unreal. But it works.