Round Two

The results came in from my blood work. My sugar level was good (121). But there was another number, A1C, which read at 8.0. (Supposedly the norm should be 6.5 or less). Even though I don't understand the importance of it, my doctor had said it might be necessary to adjust my medication level. So, another trip to the pharmacy for more pills.

My wife keeps telling me I have to do this. I'm only doing it for her. I don't believe in all this medication. Why? Because I feel fine.

I'm very wary of side effects. I've managed to live my life for fifty years without taking prescriptions. Now, maybe my blood chemistry has changed. Maybe this is simply an attempt to replace what's missing.

Only time will tell. I've heard stories about one medication causing a side effect. Prescribing another medication to counteract it. Then another side effect, and so on. I've heard people tell me they take ten or twenty pills a day. And they almost never feel good with that kind of routine.

"This time," I said, "I'll go along." But I'm not a lab rat. And I don't want to feel like someone else's science experiment.

Maybe this is normal, early on. Making adjustments until the numbers line up. Then, hopefully, once I'm stabilized, I can stick to a routine without change. I'd like that.

It happened to my brother. He takes more than one pill a day.

But it also happened to my mom. That worries me more. She died from cancer. In the end she took more pills per day than I ever thought possible. I just don't want this whole thing to get out of hand. I don't need to make my life more complicated. It makes me wonder how long this whole "process" will take.

It also makes me wonder how long I will live. Of course, no one knows. But I've always hoped for a lifespan consistent with that of my parents. Dad's seventy-five. I should have twenty-five more years.

It's not the length per se that matters, but time. Time to do other things. To pursue my goals and dreams. To spend with my wife. Trips we'd like to take. Places we'd like to see. Plans we've made.

No doubt this will be one round of many. I remember my brother telling me how he had to keep going back to the doctor's office every three months for a refill on his prescriptions.

I can understand how some people get fed up. I've heard more than one person say, "I'm supposed to take some medicine, but I stopped. And I don't go to the doctor any more."

Now, of course, I'm sure it is probably best to follow medical advice. And I'm struggling to reach that comfort level. That level of trust. To believe that it is best for me.

Fear is ever present. But I don't want to be controlled by it. People use fear all the time to manipulate others. They dream up scenarios to frighten them about what might happen. I'm leary of those kinds of predictions. Anything might happen. That doesn't mean it will. Something inside tells me not to fall for that.

I'd rather take it day by day. Look for the signs, but not obcess over them.

Too much awareness can mess up your mind. All the media outlets surrounding us. Bombarding us with messages. (Most of them designed to push us toward one action or another. And it's all for profit.) Sometimes, I get information overload. So, I turn off the television and the radio.

And it can be an amazing thing. When you turn off all the noise, it enables you to think clearly about things you never thought before. It frees your mind. Some of the best ideas I've ever had came to me this way.

Okay. Three more months. I'll stick to the plan and see what develops.

Until the next round begins.