Age Old Debate

I overhead two young moms the other day debating what to do about Santa. Do they play along with the whole charade, pretending like he's real, letting their kids find out "the truth" later on, or do they simply spill the beans from the start? It's hard to know which is best.

I believed it when I was a kid. My parents had me totally convinced. Maybe it was easier back in the 1960's. Or maybe it was just easier for me, growing up in a sheltered household, where my parents kept us happy and safe.

Sometimes, I think it's the same way with Diabetes. Especially when it comes to checking my blood. Do I want to "know" or not?

A few years ago, my sister decided to tell her kids while they were still small. I remember thinking it was such a tragedy, robbing them of that childhood fantasy, taking away the "magic" of Christmas. But they seem okay now. No harm done.

In my family, we found out the hard way. One year, around age 10 or 11, I heard my parents throwing a fit in January over all their Christmas bills. At first, it made no sense to me. If everything came from Santa, what were they so upset about? Then it finally dawned on me. The whole "Santa thing" was a crock.

Of course, I had my suspicions. All the department store Santas. Really? Even the guy who came to my kindergarten class, wearing black-rimmed glasses and a beard that kept sliding up and down his chin.

Looking at it now, to kids it must seem like a world-wide conspiracy. Your parents, your teachers and even your church all telling you the same thing. Everywhere, the same story. It must be true. Why would they tell you otherwise?

It's probably the only time in your life when everyone agrees -- except, its a lie!

As an adult, you come to realize that people lie all the time. They do it for lots of reasons. Even good ones. They lie to "protect" you from disappointment, or pain.

I never blamed my parents. They wanted me to be happy. And for a few short years, living in my make-believe world of childhood, I was incredibly happy. It was like a gift. And part of me still cherishes it to this day.

Unfortunately, many make-believe things in life turn out not to be true.

People are not always as good, or sincere, or trustworthy as they first seem to be. Anymore, I find it hard to trust anyone. I'm always looking for the hidden agenda. A few people will surprise you. After all your searching, all your patience, all your meticulous efforts to uncover their "secret" intentions -- you find out there are none.

But mostly, it's the other way around. My wife is a good one with instincts. She can always sense when someone is not to be trusted. She figures it's better to know, before they take advantage.

And so, I'm pretty cautious with most people I meet. Not revealing too much of myself, staying neutral, letting them talk my ear off, telling me "how things are", so I can measure it all in my mind, trying to figure them out.

When my doctor told me I had Diabetes, I knew he was telling me the truth. I didn't want to accept it. But he was going "by definition" from my test results. Then I confirmed it myself -- by the numbers -- over and over again.

He recently doubled the dose on my medication. It bothers me, but I'm going along. Day after day. In February, I'll find out if it worked or not. I'm sure he's only trying to make me better.

But it makes me not want to check. Not want to repeat the daily ritual. Not want to go through the daily anxiety of reading the meter to find out if I'm "okay".

And so, it's like another debate. To know, or not to know?

Of course, I should keep up the routine. I need to know the truth. And I will, eventually. Once my numbers level off, then I can test without fear. Right now, I don't want any bad news. Nothing to spoil my world.

It's nearly Christmas, after all!