Little Things

I am beginning to realize how important little things can be. As we rush around from day to day, trying to cope with our jobs and our families, it's easy to forget what a big difference they can make.

In my line of work, I deal with many people. And sometimes, I just want to get through the day. When I start with a list of names on my schedule, it's easy to view them as items to be checked off. I keep counting "how many more" until lunch, or until I go home. And I know they're probably doing the same thing, counting minutes on their watch until they will be seen, or until their appointment is over.

I try to remind myself that most of them don't really want to be there. They come out of necessity, compelled by need -- seeking pain relief or following through with a treatment recommendation. I try to make their visit as brief and painless as possible.

But sometimes, what seems to matter most, is not the care provided, but that someone takes an interest in their lives. People need to feel important. They need to know that someone shares their enthusiasm for music or food or one of a million other little things that matter to them.

The other day, my wife made another great discovery. She found sugar-free cake mix and sugar-free icing! Now, some people might consider that a little thing. But it makes a big difference to me. As a Diabetic (in my third month since diagnosis) I'm still striving day to day to feel like a normal person.

Some situations are still awkward. (At a wedding reception, I could not help but be reminded af all the 'goodies' I should not eat, like cookies and cake.) We've been checking labels at the grocery store every week. I thought I might never eat cake again.

I know she loves me, because she took the time to find it, and bake me a cake. I thought about it all day. And when I got home that night, we had cake for dessert. It made me so happy.

"How we feel" makes all the difference in the world. It can transform a bad day into a good day. Or a bad experience into a good one. So the memory becomes no longer a defeat, but a triumph. And, over time, all the 'little things' can literally change a person's life. They stay with you.

More and more, now I ask people how they feel. Because if they feel bad, and there's anything I can do to change it, I will try. I know it's always a surprise when someone asks me, because I don't expect them to care. When they do, it changes my view of that person. It makes me feel like I have a friend.

We see my dad every Sunday. He's got a big yard with some big trees. And I hadn't thought about it much, until all the leaves were starting to come down. His yard was completely covered. And even though he manages the lawn with a riding mower, I suddenly realized that he might need some help. His buddy, a handyman, often helps, but hadn't been around.

I found myself saying, "Dad, I'll stop by after work, in case you need help." (I did this under the pretense of wanting to show off my latest gizmo, a combination blower-vacuum that mulches the leaves as you pick them up.)

Now I know he did not expect me to show. People make half-hearted offers all the time. But suddenly, I realized that I could not bear the thought of him tackling that entire yard by himself. The man has three grown sons. It just didn't seem right.

So I packed up my gear in the trunk the next morning, before work. When I got done, just before five, I headed straight to my dad's. Pulling into the drive, it was pretty clear that many leaves were gone. He must have been working on them all day. His truck was gone, and I thought he might not be home. I started changing clothes in the car. With two hours of daylight, I vowed to do what I could. Every little bit helps.

Then he came out the door. I could tell he was touched. He explained that his buddy came over and they already got most of the leaves. But he thanked me again and again. Why? Because I was the only son who offered to help. And it meant a lot to him. I was only there a few minutes. But I felt good about making the trip.

Little things really do matter. Try it, sometime.